Writing as an expression usually happens when you are in a state of tension between point A and point B. There is a comfortable state, and one which you are then forced to occupy due to experiences or emotions. The state of being stretched between these two points causes unnatural unease, and a need to express in a way you know best. For writers, the prose and poetry then is just ejaculation.
Making sense of what has happened.
Mind is a funny place, and we end up perceiving our life story the way we believe. While that might be farther away from the ‘truth’ (what is truth but perception of someone else who might disagree with your version of things), you will believe in your story and your beliefs. Often, we are able to figure out a deeper meaning of what has happened after the happening. Or rather, that’s us striving (as the mind works furiously in the subconscious) to translate and find meaning in the reality.
Isn’t it how we are wired? Seeking to understand and translate incomprehensible reality into something we can understand and relate to. Unknown musical notes are remembered as you associate them with your memories. You remember faces through connections and emotions. I clicked a photo once because I had a Viking figurine on a table and an espresso in my hand. I clicked them both together because why not? Moments later, the picture seemed to represent the values I currently live by.
The Viking units in the ever popular Age of Empires game series healed when they went to battle. The Viking stands for the indomitable spirit, of healing through a constant state of war, of not giving up and charting the oceans without the fear of death. The Viking stands for frugality, focusing on basics and clear victory. The espresso, however, is short lived. It stands for the immediate pleasures, and plain indulgence strictly restricted to the self. This, ignoring the caffeine crash, ignoring the fact that the immediate pleasures are ‘borrowed time’. The Viking and the Espresso fit in together with ease, and I chose to use the analogy to explain my thought processes all across.
Pursuit of the Green Tea
While the Viking is a desirable trait for the stage I am in, the Espresso is more of an unhealthy allowance. While I understand that the bigger picture and the long term hold tremendous value from all aspects, I end up choosing the Espresso for my personal lifestyle, ignoring better health and inner peace in the process. Green Tea mindset is that of a healing acceptance and focus on tasks at hand. Green Tea calls for patience, it calls for routines and certain rituals which are almost meditative. That is the ideal stage, the most desirable stage where you stop ‘craving’, you cease ‘indulgences of the moment’ and find true utmost joy in doing everyday tasks leading you to the Viking goal. Green Tea asks for wellness and satisfaction, and the desire to have more (because the Viking still exists) is that of a calm, persistent and an unimaginably strong mind. Green Tea clearly makes the Viking fiercer with better chances of conquering tougher lands.
“Feeling comfortable with your reality stops the cravings, because the need to complete yourself has gone,” she had stated once. While we both confess it’s easier said than done, it is a beautiful stage to be in. I pursue the Green Tea, probably because the futility of the Espresso is evident. How can I find strength and pleasure in something I know isn’t complete in itself? Giving in to the short term, no matter how tempting, won’t help us in the long term. And so the pursuit of the Green Tea while still indulging in Espressos, so the certain state of mind, and so the words that tumble out, structured and making sense.
Me and the Business
When I chose my career path while exiting my teens, it was as if I was choosing a new life altogether. Work (or rather, the chosen path) consumed me and I ceased to have a separate life then (whatever that means). Business, for me, is much more than commercial transactions and an office to earn money from. It is a way of life, and a mode of expression. My personality shows through from all angles, and now (thankfully) my team’s personality shines through as well. This makes the business beautiful and us, dogged and dangerous. But it also puts the onus on me to let the Espresso go and grab the Green Tea as soon as I can. What got me here won’t take me ahead.