It’s Time I Had Some Time Alone

It is twenty days of December of the two thousand and twelfth year since we started counting.

I write this on the eve of destruction.

Not Gonna Happen!

I said that because I thought it was a cool thing to say but I don’t really believe the world is going to end in the next day or so.

Why do I say that? I don’t see the signs.

Supposed To Happen Before The World Ends..

There is no ten plagues of Egypt. I mean, Egypt is plagued by things but none of them Biblical in nature and not one of them can claim divine heritage. No birds dropping mysteriously from the sky. No people going crazy. Well, crazier than the usual. (I realize that this last point about people being crazy will be true always so let us not concentrate on it) No voice from the skies apologizing for the minor inconvenience of an apocalypse that may be heading your way. No Shiva’s third eye. No Flying Spaghetti Monster swallowing us like a big, dirty, greasy meatball.

That’s great. The world will go on. It will serve its own needs. Corporate ladders will be climbed. Governments will revel in incompetence and apathy. Deadlines will breathe down your neck. Reporters will continue to be baffled (and exasperate you). Population will populate and candle marchers will candle march. There will be no grand ‘this way out’ for us.

Some good continental drift divide might do us in. Slow and gradual till the levee breaks one day and still it won’t finish everything in a day. As Jeff Goldblum would say, “Life, ah, ah ah, ah, finds, ah, ah, finds a way.”

There is a good chance that machines would go rogue and take over the world. Till then, we can always fret over Y2K. I like Skynet. An omnipotent, omniscient network that can remotely and permanently shutdown everything and I mean everything that is connected to a network but that is pretty much everything there is in the world. Death and destruction follows. Millions and billions die. Riots erupt, cities burn. Some men would starve and disease would take some but Man would survive.

I also like the GIANT ASTEROID OF DOOM. That is an all-time favourite. Identified flying rock, hurtling in space towards you, on another flying rock. If the asteroid is big enough, impact could destroy the entire planet. Obliterate us. Quite effective and you would be dead before lunch.

There is also a chance for the Fermi paradox to be a possibility. Many planets have been discovered, and there are likely to be many more Earth-like planets that may support life. Consider the pace at which life evolved on Earth, and our limited knowledge of the universe, and it seems quite likely that intelligent life exists elsewhere. Why haven’t they contacted us? Maybe, they haven’t reached the woohoo-we-are-space-exploring phase. Or maybe, they ended before we began. Or they don’t care. The Earth could be a galactic zoo, for all you know. Pandemics or bio-chemical warfare could wipe us out. But some might develop immunity. Food might run out but technology might get there before. Ecological disaster or some sort of time-based natural trigger like an ice age might finish us. OR, we could all kill each other. This last option might be messy but it will get the job done.

Astronomers say the Sun will eventually go rogue, turn into a bigger ball of flaming gas and consume the first two planetary sheesh kebabs. The Earth will then be straight in the line of fire and we will be cooked alive by the Sun before being burnt alive by the Sun. I don’t really like that option. Each to his own. 

Space might provide another solution.

Some vast, malignant black hole might choose us to fill the void at its heart and we might vanish without a trace. We don’t know what black holes do with the things they eat so there is a chance that we would end up in this universe, different timeline or Hawaii or even some alternate universe. That would suck. (See what I did there?)

And if all else fails, we have Hollywood!

There is always the chance that we might not get the easy way out.

Face it. The world will not end in a day. The waters will not boil, the mountains will not erupt in flames and the land beneath will not swallow you whole. You will still be here. All your mistakes, all your regrets and all your follies will still exist. No act of puissant devastation will wipe your slate clean. Now, some people might still want to cling to life and they may not like what I am going to say next.

I hope the world ends in a day.

Doomsday.

Why do you need doomsday? One day and everything’s done. Doesn’t really sound bad, does it?

A chance to force close a rather horrible app. Just get done with it, in an instant. No one wants to be responsible. A swift reboot would mean an end to all that. It would mean that you would never, ever, ever have to answer for anything. Wouldn’t that be great? Never having to be held responsible or to even acknowledge anything that you ever did.

I bet, you would like that. I would like that. ‘One day everything ends’ is such an attractive idea that I am surprised there are no Hallmark cards for such an event. A day without fear because you know exactly what is going to happen next? Possibly.

It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine…

(It’s time I had some time alone)

 

I can’t wait for it.

 

 

 

PS.       I live in India and the amount of horrible that being a citizen here brings has suddenly increased to painful levels. Who is to say it is not the end of the world.

 

 

[featured image is from the rather fertile mind of dave piraro.

If you don’t who dave piraro is we can’t be friends.]

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